For The Love Of Ball Games

You wonder how they'd react if they knew. How things would be different if they knew that their parading arounding the changerooms is as good as a trip to a strip club for you. Team sports are just that: sports built around the team. So what happens when your teammate receives the pass from you and instead of focusing on the play necessary to clinch victory, he's worrying about whether you were just checking him out.

Teams are built on trust. Break that trust, and 'team' flies out the window. There's no 'I' in team, but there's two eyes in suspicion.

You're so glad they can't hear your thoughts; your fantasies. If they could, you wouldn't be able to look at them. And more than likely, they wouldn't want you to either.

It's almost as if it's set up so as to cause the most problems possible. The public nature of the changeroom area. The community showers, limited clothing. All supposedly help achieve a greater level of team bonding. But in your case, it has crossed the line. Gone over the top.

They joke with each other about liking each other that way and wanting to have some fun. But they really are just joking. How would they deal with you, not saying such things, but knowing that that is what you mean and want?

Your attack on the ball, your unquenchable hunger for winning it on your own merit. Would that become a joke about your interest in other things bally? Would they still give you the pat on the backside when you put in a good effort? If they knew how excited even that small gesture made
you? How much you enjoy laying a hard tackle. In all its forms, even if you do feel guilty about it.

But you love ball games and you wish that you could find out that your preferences were no barrier, without actually having to expose yourself and put yourself out there. But unless someone else, unexpectedly, takes the plunge for you, you'll not get that opportunity.