It's been nearly a whole year since my last post and so much has changed in that time. Indeed, I'm sure any readers I once had have long since given up on finding any news of the latest leg of the "journey". The weird thing is, I'm not even sure how or when this blog became irrelevant to me. At some point, it went from being one of the few things sustaining me to being just another thing I no longer had time for.
Yet, here I am, writing a new post...
No longer confused, he sits down and observes that which surrounds him. He knows nothing of what it would bring, only that which is shown in tv shows. It doesn't stop that desperate yearning though. The article still lays open on the table, shining in the mid-morning sun of the first genuinely summery Sunday morning. So many questions answered, in just a few short paragraphs... Mockingly simple.
Or, is it just like all those other conditions that the hypochondriac within him sees. But they're all real too, aren't they? There's no point hiding it anymore. That much he now knows. He has ups he has downs. He gets excited by another's touch and lonely upon rejection. He feels an emptiness, one that most probably extends from the fractured relationships he currently keeps up. One that his yearning aims to fill. And , now he knows all this, he realises that to find his true happiness with another he must find happiness with himself first. He knows his flaws, sees them all, struggles against them, succumbs beneath them. He deflects the praise for his strengths, few and far between. He looks in the mirror and smiles, satisfied, not due to a change, but to a change of heart. It's taken him a long time to accept imperfection. A very long time.
He accepts himself, and needs no acceptance from others. No gratification.
All he needs now, is one to share the rest of his life with. Someone he can love and who will love him.
He places the crumb-strewn plate on the sink and heads off on his date
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
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